Have been very caught up the past months… so i havent got time to really come in, and thoughts have been running the past few weeks.. thankfully it’s over.

It was a tough decision.. really.. 

I would say the past 2 weeks were a torture.. it was miserable. Someone close told me i couldn’t do sales, cause i wasn’t motivated and determined enough, and mayb i thought, it  really wasn’t the job for me.. i hate having to entertain clients.. agents.. i hate to approach these people with a mask and have to smile, intro myself and to really strike a conversation.. it just wasn’t me. ’Boss’ told me there are two ways to look at things, either you change youself to suit the environment or you change the environment to suit youself, well.. being me, i tried… the former, but maybe i really wasnt determined enough.. i ended up going back, doing the latter… He said there are always two answers to everything.. Yes and No. It’s always easier to say no because saying yes takes alot more of courage and it equals to oneself opening him/herself to accepting an unknown outcome.

The week was bad… i even contemplated to take up a crew job cuz (no offence to crew members who sees this) it’s a bimbotic job and i thought it was the only thing i could do maybe… and you get paid. yup, it was this bad. I went into an argument with my parents, they were devastated when i told them that i wanted to give up a banking job (their ‘dream’ ) to go into flying. My dad asked what’s the point in me taking my degree and then go do that kinda job… i mean, i understand their point of view but do they ever understand that mayb i couldnt make it in a bank afterall? and the reason behind me pursuing a degree in banking? it wasn’t my passion… frankly… it wasn’t really what i wanted to do.. i took the course simply because it was a practical thing to do.. it can get me a job easily.. and they would not object to it. It’s lame i know but it’s done.

i guess i just had to follow my thoughts and decision this time round.. for the 1st time (maybe) in 26 years… and not look back. Even having to pay the bond, i felt relieved… that things r over…

Have a merry christmas and enjoy the festive seasons!!

On a side note, someone asked me this : Love and Career, which would you choose?

1st interview : Recruit Express (17/09)

Position : Banking recruit consultant

Time taken : 2 and a half hours

Reason : Personality test, met wif senior consultant, manager, senior director, and to meet with CEO and HR on the 2nd round

Time took to get back to me : 5 days inclusive of sats and suns

2nd interview : OCBC Bank (24/09)

Position : Mobile Banking executive dealing with housing loans etc

Time taken : 15 mins

Met with hiring manager and HR

Time taken to get back to me : On the spot. less than 5 mins.

My decision : OCBC !!

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Spoke to a friend on guys who splurge on expensive handbags for their girlfriends… Sweet or silly??

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ve got myself to blame , if only i had gotten my priorities right, but no worries, i’ll get over it by april.. I’m kinda glad they are around to go through it together, but sometimes, just sometimes, i wonder if they are real.. people tell me not to believe too much in others, to only trust myself, sad to say i haven’t be able to do that, in friendship nor relationships…

On the side note, hope esther does well in the coming new term.. hope she’s able to manage her 3 – 4 units.. A pity we can’t go through it together but  Jia you girl.. give it your last best shot, If you ever need me, I’ll be around =)

Mood : Lousy

Well, i’m writing again.. cuz i have been cursed..

Results were out yesterday afternoon. I don’t know if i was blessed or was i just plain unluncky? I could have made it through with just 3 Marks!

Hope my appeal will get through, if not, i really do not know if i should go for the convocation or not.. it just kinda sux.

I’ve started on a book, “Where rainbows end” by Cecelia Ahern, the author of P.S, I Love You. It was a great show and yes, this novel did not fail me either, you just know how some books are when u read the first few pages, and well, i’m really enjoying it. It puts a smile on my face.

Will be off to malaysia for a short holiday tomorrow morning, hope i get replies from the resumes i’ve sent when i come back, results gonna be out real soon too, i hope i made it.

P.s: words in italic r purely my thoughts..

Him : ” you girls will be happy if we keep holding your hands? like it feels more in love? you girls like us to buy gifts, flowers for u and stuffs? and come up with surprises? chat on the phone all night… buy similar rings, able to mix with your friends, be well liked by your parents… able to show care and concern, cook and all….hold things for yall, lend a listening ear… able to be there for yall… you girls like all these.. no doubt, but after 1 year yall will say this is not enough, after 2 yrs, last time u were not like that, after 3 yrs, how come u don’t do that anymore? u used to do this and that etc… if we put in everything intially in a relationship, what’s left to put in the later part (50,60 years)? nice and sweet things should come in gradually, if not it would be taken for granted…”

Me : sigh.. “Isn’t loving someone all about compromising and commitment? some guys are very much willing to do all these for their loved ones, just to see that smile on the special someone’s face..on the contrary, some guys find it a chore doing all these ‘sweet little things’.. some girls like to carry their own stuffs maybe, would rather cook and bake for their boyfriends, don’t really fancy flowers? (okay i’m juz saying mayb cuz i don’t know of any girls who are like that! ) mayb you just have to meet the right girl meant for you? these things matter more to some girls yet to others it matters less? maybe to some it doesn’t matter at all? why can’t sweet things be maintained even though you know it would be taken for granted?” (actually he’s got some sense in saying all those, but we girls just like to receive the sweet things for that moment lor…but he’s right sometimes we do take things for granted, but..  why do guys, okie mayb not guys but people generally do certain things at the beginning of the relationship yet like what he said, yrs down the road,things juz died down? like they don’t do certain things anymore? R we girls asking too much in a relationship?)

This conversation explains the title perfectly, we’ll never be able to understand them perfectly maybe, and maybe they can’t understand us either..